Sunday, July 21, 2024

Advice#5: Love in a Hopeless Place


Advice#5: Love in a Hopeless Place

Dear G,

I’ve been a patron of the Power Exchange adult nightclub in San Francisco for a very long time. The nightclub is not your usual dance bar scene but a nightclub for the sexually adventurous to express themselves. Through the years I’ve had many encounters with different men. I never took any of it seriously because I always thought sex is just sex.

I met Donovan a couple of months back at the Power Exchange and, boy, did we have a time.  One night became three nights a week, which became every night of the week.  One evening, as we were both leaving, he invited me to go to Denny’s, a local 24-hour diner down the street.  After some pancakes, we took the after-party to the bathroom.

After that evening, all I can think about is him.  At this point, I think I want to get to know him outside of the club. I think I’m ready to stop going to the Power Exchange.

What’s happening to me?  Am I falling in love because he bought me pancakes?  How do I tell him that we should start seeing each other outside the club?

Love in a Hopeless Place

Dear Love in a Hopeless Place,

Woohoo! Sounds like it’s on and it’s hot! It’s an excellent idea to slow it down and check if there is heat outside the kitchen. It’s very easy to mistake lust for love, so take a moment.

Are you falling in love? Maybe. Everyone wants to feel special and if he’s giving you uncommon attention, you’ll become more interested. It’s the little things that he’ll do that will tell you if there’s more to this than just sex.

Be brave and ask him out on a date (yes, a good old-fashioned dinner and movie date). The worst thing you can get is a no and then you’d know. Take it from there.

Good luck!


Dear Love in a Hopeless Place,

Honey, we can’t survive on sex and pancakes alone. Don’t expect too much from Donovan. There is a reason he goes to the sex club. Lust is a powerful incentive and it sure defeats naïve people.

But let me patronize you a bit.

So, do ask Donovan straightaway — Do you want to see me outside of the club? If he says yes, then invite him for breakfast at your apartment and make him some pancakes. Be sure to be in your pajama, complete with messy hair, and be in your non-Power Exchange persona. If he goes looking for the kinky stuff, say ‘no.’ Tell him you’ll be watching The Little Mermaid. If he can watch ‘odd’ movies with you, there is a chance he may be feeling the same way.

Still, don’t get your hopes up too high. Get back down to earth! Wake up, gurl!


graphic taken from Credit to the artist.

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