Saturday, May 25, 2024

Advice#15: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Advice#15: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Dear G,

My husband is an OFW. He had an affair, and I caught on. Now, after several months, he tells me that they are over, and he wants me back. Should I stay in this marriage, or is it time to let go?

Amelia


Dear Amelia,

Photo by Lauren York on Unsplash

There’s no easy answer to your question. There are a lot of things to think about:

  1. Can you accept that he cheated?
  2. Can you accept it if he does it again?
  3. Can you trust him not to do it again?

If you answer no to any of these questions, especially questions 1 & 3, the relationship is over. Trust, once broken, can never be mended. You can definitely try, but the fear of it happening again will always be there, and that’s no way to live.

It will be especially hard since we have no divorce in the Philippines. If you have kids, you might even be thinking of staying for their sake. That would mean living a lie.

Best advice: Be true to yourself.

Be happy,

G


Photo by Maria Teneva on Unsplash

Dear Amelia,

If he does it once, he’ll do it twice. And thrice.

Cheating partners are immature and selfish creatures. Sometimes, they wake up and realize they did something wrong. The memory loss kicks in. And another cycle happens. Let your husband know that he is on probation all his life and that you will not tolerate another similar error. Be firm and be clever.

From now on, make sure that you save his remittances for a future that may not include him. Plan for a stable future. Stop crying. Start saving, especially if you have a child or two.

Love yourself,

G

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